


Beorc

by CaptainGlitch



Series: Heals for Loneliness [2]
Category: Fire Emblem: Soen no Kiseki/Akatsuki no Megami | Fire Emblem Path of Radiance/Radiant Dawn
Genre: ...Kinda, ...but not that much, Blood, F/F, Kisses, Romance, Scars, Takes place during chapters 18 and 19, finally time for the romance to happen!!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-03
Updated: 2019-11-03
Packaged: 2021-01-02 20:54:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,114
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21167711
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaptainGlitch/pseuds/CaptainGlitch
Summary: After the battle of the Serenes Forest, Jill is reluctant to let Mist get close to her, but it might be too late for that...Because, Mist for her part, won't allow Jill to keep her at arms lenght.





	Beorc

**Author's Note:**

> Continuation to Sub-Human... because I just couldn’t leave that one hanging (I don’t know if I made that much references to the prequel but it’s probably better to read that one before reading this, I guess).  
Takes place during chap 18, 19 and after 19, I don’t think it’s that necessary to remember the chapters, just know that they are the chapters when the army is arriving to Daein, so... like... stressful times for Jill, with that in mind please enjoy this self indulgent story :P

The first snow of the season falls and, with Ike becoming General of the Crimean Liberation army, they keep marching on towards the border between Begnion and Daein.

Jill feels like she’s returning home, but it doesn’t feel like the end of her journey. She knows with absolute certainty that the hardships are only beginning.

The fortress of Tor Garen is full of naive Daein soldiers, they don’t know her or recognize her, most of them don’t even acknowledge her as someone who used to be part of Daein.

That is fine for Jill, but it still doesn’t stop her from seeing herself in every soldier. The hateful way in which they stare at the laguz fighting by Crimea’s side... their angry gazes are ones Jill knows all too well.

It’s almost like watching herself, and that makes her freeze, because she could easily be one of these soldiers, fighting the laguz just cause that’s what they’ve been taught since they were born.

At first Jill doesn’t want to fight them but...

“Jill! Are you ok?”

A soft voice calls her over the sound of the wind and the noises of battle.

Jill looks down to see Mist, looking worriedly at her from her place on the ground. It is not unusual for Mist to ask how she’s doing during every battle, but it still never fails to make her heart beat faster. It is also notable how it lifts her biorhythm to optimal levels.

“I’m fine, sorry I worried you,” she answers and manages to sound convincing even when she’s doubting herself more than ever.

And Mist smiles, it is enough to make her shiver, because being on the receiving end of such radiance never stops making Jill feel __things__.

Suddenly that smile disappears and she points behind Jill, in seconds Jill’s mind is back on the battlefield mindset as she turns around in time to see a wyvern rider flying towards them. As an experienced wyvern rider herself, Jill knows in an instant that the other rider is not targeting her, but Mist.

Jill flies down, lifting Mist from the ground and out of the way of harm. The movement is so practiced by now that it takes no more than a second for Mist to be seated comfortably behind her on her mount.

Now that the enemy rider is overextended and out of position, they’re easy prey for the hawk laguz and pegasus knights.

Once Mist makes sure no one is seriously injured, Jill flies closer to the walls of Tor Garen and lands as close to the entrance as she can.

“Mist, stay inside,” Jill orders in a firm voice that sounds foreign to herself. Mist just nods, dismounts the wyvern at the stairs of Tor Garen and runs inside.

And with that, Jill is done doubting herself for today. She has come far and even if she can’t do anything to help these soldiers of Daein, she has to keep the people she cares about alive. She might not be better than the rest of Daein, but the beorc and laguz fighting alongside her are better, and that should be enough reason for Jill to keep fighting to protect them.

When the battle is over Jill drinks a whole elixir in just a pair of gulps, her stomach hurts a bit but the relief is instantaneous and most of her wounds heal seconds later.

She hastily removes her armor, hoping she can go find some food before the rest of the army catches up, but as she hurriedly leaves her tent she bumps into someone.

She intends to apologize and keep walking, but the imposing figure of Mordecai places an enormous hand on her shoulder, stopping her in her tracks.

“Mist,” he starts saying, his booming voice echoing in Jill’s chest. “She wishes to talk,” he explains as his other hand points in the direction of the healer’s tents.

Jill doesn’t know what this is about but she would never reject an opportunity to spend time with Mist, so she thanks the laguz and heads off.

“You wanted to talk to me?”

Mist is sitting on a crate placed outside the healer’s tents and, upon hearing Jill’s words, she nods and motions for Jill to take a seat next to her.

Jill does it, but is mindful of keeping a distance between them.

Mist scoots closer to Jill and Jill has to make a conscious choice of not leaning towards the comforting, inviting warmth.

Always so kind and caring, that’s the way Mist is. Jill doesn’t like turning down the girl’s love but she can’t quite accept it, she’s an unworthy sub-human after all.

Even if Jill is bent on this, it’s impossible for her to move away when Mist leans towards her, well past into her personal space. Jill’s heart beats faster as she feels Mist breathe the same air as her.

“Thank you, for saving me back there,” Mist whispers and smiles shyly. Jill cannot tear her eyes away from Mist’s lips as the girl licks them and Jill can do nothing but attempt to swallow the knot forming in her throat.

“Of course,” she replies, because it’s not a big deal for her, she will always strive to be there for Mist no matter what.

With a soft blush covering her cheeks, Mist smiles. And Jill? She isn’t dumb.

She knows what is about to happen. She wants it to happen, and even if she didn’t want to, Mist gives her several seconds to stop the direction this is taking.

And Jill knows she shouldn’t allow this to go further but she remains frozen till the very last second.

Then when Mist leans forward, Jill flinches, their noses bump but their lips stay apart. Mist pouts a bit.

A thousand thoughts course through Jill’s brain. It’s so much, her head starts to hurt and she tries and fails to talk for quite a few seconds that make each of her heartbeats sting.

“S-sorry, it’s not like I don’t want to kiss you,” Jill stutters. “Anyone would be honored to kiss you,” she adds hurriedly before Mist gets the wrong idea. Jill regrets so much not being able to kiss Mist now. Her insides are stinging with the desire to just give up and kiss her.

Mist sighs and looks to the side and Jill feels her throat constrict painfully with all the other thoughts she can’t voice.

“Is it because you’re Daein?” Mist asks carefully.

Jill shakes her head and even if she moves her mouth the words take some seconds to actually come out.

“No, that’s not it,” she finally says in a raspy voice.

Mist starts to worry and it must show in her face cause Jill rushes to explain herself.

“The laguz, you don’t treat them differently,” Jill pauses, trying hard to come up with words to explain her predicament. “Meanwhile I...” she pauses again to shake her head. “I’m just not good enough.”

Everything had been so clear after the battle in the Serenes Forest, but now her reasoning just sounds like excuses.

“What do the laguz have to do with this, with __us__?” Mist makes a point of waving her hand in the space between Jill and her.

Jill struggles with words once more and finally, with a defeated sigh she says:

“I’m just not a good person.”

_I’m a sub-human-- no, even lower than that, probably,_ Jill thinks.

Mist looks at Jill, her eyes look a bit glassy but before any tear can fall from them she turns away, but by the way she moves her arm it is pretty obvious she’s furiously rubbing the tears out of her eyes.

Jill isn’t sure what to do but she is spared the need to think about it cause Rhys comes out of the tent and asks for Mist’s assistance. It must be somewhat urgent cause he doesn’t address Jill. And so the perfect opportunity to walk away comes and Jill takes it.

She can’t keep avoiding Mist forever, but at least for now she can leave to gather her thoughts.

* * *

After the last fight at Tor Garen, the crimean army keeps marching through the Daein border, where, according to the scouts, another army awaits.

So they set camp and everyone takes their time to relax and prepare for the upcoming battle.

“Jill, I finally found you.”

Jill has been admiring the falling snow, while sitting in an old bench she found nearby, when Mist approaches her. It feels like it’s too soon to talk about what happened, but also, the sooner they talk about it the better, and even if Jill doesn’t want to run away she finds herself attempting it anyway.

But then Mist halts her with a single uttered word.

“Wait...”

In that moment even the falling snow seems to pause.

So Jill waits, slowly she turns around and sits back in the bench, but she can’t relax her tense posture.

Leaving a bit of space between them, Mist sits next to her. It’s too much space and Jill is torn between wanting to close the distance and not wanting to hurt Mist by giving her hope just to turn down even more of her advances.

“I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable,” Mist says.

“N-no, I’m sorry too... for being... weird,” Jill rushes to say.

“Can we still be friends?_ Just friends_?”

No, Jill doesn’t want that, but Mist deserves so much more and Jill isn’t the right person to give it to her.

“Yeah, friends,” Jill repeats with a smile and Mist throws her arms around her shoulders and hugs her very tightly.

Jill sighs and hugs her back. Her chest hurts a bit but she also feels so happy that Mist still wants to be close, Jill isn’t sure she would be able to keep going on without Mist around.

Snow starts to fall once again and suddenly Mist tenses. It has been snowing all day but the girl doesn’t seem to be used to it yet.

“Is this the first time you see snow? Before coming to Daein, I mean,” Jill asks, grateful for the casual topic change.

“Crimea isn’t as cold and when it snows it only snows in the mountains,” Mist explains looking at the sky with fascination.

Mist looks so pretty. She always does, but there is this spark in her eyes, as she looks at the falling snow, it ignites buried emotions in Jill.

Under the falling snow, Jill wants to kiss Mist and hug her and grab her hand... And the fact that it’s not meant to be makes her chest hurt.

Once Mist leaves, Jill hears someone calling for her.

A familiar face in the familiar landscape makes the whole moment feel surreal. Captain Haar mentions how he’s been chasing her since she disappeared back in Port Toha, and he’s only a bit surprised to see her now working with Crimea.

“I’m with them because I want to be.” Jill replies and the words effortlessly leave her mouth. It feels like the first time in a while when she doesn’t have to second guess her own words.

And Captain Haar doesn’t try to convince her to join Daein back, so Jill is sure she’s in the right path, even if, as Haar says, it puts her right in the road to fight against her father.

But that shouldn’t matter, that’s a small thread among the tapestry that is this war.

There are wrongs to right, and Jill cannot do that whilst fighting with Daein. There are people that need her protection, good people, and even if Jill can’t be good she can at least protect those who do good.

As the snow keeps falling, in the familiar scenery of Daein’s mountains, Jill has decided to fight to protect those people who are better than her.

Their next battle is in the Daein border. Jill has been here before, but it matters little if she knows the terrain cause the snow makes it hard to move and see.

Still, she fights on. She’s one of the units with the best mobility so she intends to put it to use, even if the archers keep targeting her and their arrows cut through the little spaces between the plates of her armor.

There’s no remorse in her as she eliminates a couple of soldiers that wouldn’t stop referring to the laguz as “sub-humans”. And a small part of Jill thinks that in the end it wouldn’t matter if she dies too. At least the world would have one less foolish hater.

* * *

The battle is over and Mist is back to the healer’s tent, in case anyone needs any extra medical attention, but so far no one has needed more than a quick heal with a staff or a vulnerary.

She’s standing outside when a green wyvern lands in front of her, lifting a gust of wind that ruffles her clothes and hair in the process.

“Sorry,” Jill calls out from behind the massive green wings of her mount. When Mist focuses her eyes on her it’s hard to not let the worry flood her.

“Oh my Goddess, Jill, are you okay?”

There’s a gash in Jill’s forehead, the blood running over one of her eyes, forcing her to keep it close, there are also scratches in her armor and blood in various parts of her body.

“I’m okay,” Jill assures as she dismounts her wyvern.

“Doesn’t matter, come inside the tent so I can heal you,” Mist orders as she turns around, motioning Jill to follow her.

“Wait.” Jill grabs Mist arm, halting her instantly. Mist turns to look at her, worry in her face.

“Heal Lethe instead, my wounds aren’t as bad as they look, I just need to clean up,” Jill assures as she points back to her wyvern, Mist is only now noticing the second passenger dismounting.

Mist looks back at Jill and hesitates.

“Don’t try to act like it doesn’t hurt, your poor beorc body isn’t as tough as us laguz,” Lethe playfully scolds as she walks limping towards the tent.

Jill smiles.

“I’m not acting tough, you where the one getting targeted by the ballistas,” Jill says with a smile on her lips.

“Really? I can’t really tell, you beorc are so fragile, any scratch is enough to make you bleed,” Lethe points out lightly.

Mist smiles at the comment but she still looks worriedly at Jill. Jill only nods and gives her another smile.

“Can you stay? Even if you don't need healing I want to spend some time with to you afterwards... __if__ that’s okay with you.”

“Sure, I'll wait outside.”

While waiting, Jill cleans the blood in her face and drinks a vulnerary. She already had one after the battle ended, but she takes another one for good measure and to close any wound that might have been opened when she helped Lethe climb into her wyvern.

One wouldn’t be able to tell just by looking at her, but the cat laguz is surprisingly heavy and her wyvern wouldn’t probably be able to fly too far in battle while carrying her.

Her forearm is aching too much but she’s not sure if it’s from the strain of fighting with her lance or if it has to do with the scar healing there.

She removes her metal brace and rolls up her sleeve to look at her arm.

The scar there looks bad, it’s completely healed but the skin doesn’t look even or soft. Jill couldn’t really care less about how it looks aesthetically, but she’s not sure if the scar healed correctly.

In that moment Mist comes out of the tent and gasps. Jill doesn’t look up, already feeling dread of being caught red-handed.

To further prove how guilty she feels she immediately rushes to justify herself.

“It’s not as bad as it looks!”

With a frown, Mist leans towards her, looking for Jill’s eyes.

“You said you where okay,” Mist says and is obvious in her voice that she is upset.

“And I am, just a bit roughed up,” Jill says, mostly to calm Mist down, but she’s not really sure how severe her wounds actually are, her whole body hurts but she doesn’t know if that means she’s just tired or she’s actually in need of medical attention.

Mist isn’t convinced anyway. She grabs her by the wrist and drags her towards the tent and, surprisingly, Jill doesn’t try to resist.

In a corner of the tent, Jill can see Lethe’s silhouette grow and shrink with each breath; the soft snoring noises she makes relay to Jill that the cat laguz is already healed and resting on the cot.

Mist shoves Jill into a cot and takes Jill’s injured arm between her hands again.

“How did you get this scar?” Mist asks pointing at the bulgy skin from the wound in her arm.

“It was an attack by one of the crow laguz in Tor Garen,” Jill explains covering her eyes with her other hand.

“But you didn’t visit the healers tent after that battle...” As she speaks Mist starts to take away Jill’s armor starting by the other arm brace, removing it quickly, and Jill doesn’t try to stop her but doesn’t move to help her either.

“Princess Elincia closed the wound herself.”

The shoulder pads fall to the floor with a loud clang as Mist turns her attention to Jill’s face, her hands fumbling with the buckles on the breastplate.

“You asked Princess Elincia to __heal you__?”

_ And not me? _

In the side of the tent Lethe snores hitch a bit, it almost sounds like a snicker, but Jill doesn’t have time to look to the side with Mist standing in front of her, glaring.

“She offered to do it, since she has been practicing her healing...” Jill rushes to explain and she purposefully doesn’t mention how she wasn’t even planning on getting someone to heal her wound. “A-and it was just a scratch--”

“_...Just a ****scratch****??_” It is evident that, for Mist, the scar running along Jill’s arm looks like more than a scratch. She finally unbuckles the breastplate and lets it fall to the floor unceremoniously, the sound of clashing metal against the floor making Jill wince.

“I didn’t want you to worry.” Jill’s voice shakes a bit.

The armor is sturdy enough to not be damaged by rough treatment so the only thing Jill is actually worried about is the feeling of vulnerability she gets by standing in front of Mist without her armor between them.

“I’m worrying right now! What other wound have you been hiding from me?” Mist demands as she walks towards a staff holder in the corner where the healing staves are hanging neatly.

“I haven’t been hiding them from you,” Jill argues weakly only to have Mist interrupt her before she can say anything else.

“That’s enough!” Mist looks angry and leaves no room for argument. “Take off your shirt!” Mist orders with her fists clenched around her chosen healing staff.

Jill can’t avoid blushing but Mist doesn’t seem to be playing around. She doesn’t care if Jill is embarrassed or not. So Jill complies. With shaking hands, she takes off her blood stained yellow shirt, Mist yanks it from her hands and drops it to the side, her gaze isn’t focusing in Jill’s red face though.

She’s busy examining all the wounds with clinical eyes. There’s this detached coldness in every touch and the frown present in Mist’s face makes it very difficult for Jill to relax.

“Hadn’t I healed this one before?”

It’s an axe wound on Jill’s side, just under the ribs. It looks mostly healed but underneath all the scar tissue there’s a bit of fresh blood that Mist smears as she rubs her thumb along the swollen skin.

It doesn’t hurt but the touch makes Jill shiver and she feels so embarrassed when she’s unable to stay still, there’s no way Mist didn’t feel Jill’s shuddering but Mist doesn’t say anything about it.

“I... y-yes! You did, I probably got it open during last fight by accident,” Jill explains through gritted teeth.

Mist sighs and her hand drops, sliding softly through Jill’s side till the contact is gone.

“Mist?”

But Mist doesn’t answer, she doesn’t even look up from a particularly nasty arrow wound that isn’t healing too nicely in Jill’s arm. Jill is starting to breathe a bit too heavily, feeling __all too __nervous at being shirtless in front of Mist.

Mist walks around to keep examining Jill’s back and Jill feels tingles in her nape when Mist’s warm breathe ghosts over her cool neck.

“I had never noticed you had so many scars,” Mist comments, her voice sounds quiet and Jill is not sure if the slight note of emotion at the end is a tinge of sadness or disappointment. Her fingers idly touch a scar on Jill’s shoulder, Jill notices it’s the arrow wound she got at the Serenes forest, back when she almost died...

“Mist, listen, I’m sorry,” she starts saying but Mist doesn’t let her continue.

“I’m not the one you should ask for forgiveness,” Mist replies, with a slight bite of aggression in her otherwise soft voice.

Her hands trace three, particularly long, horizontal gash-scars in the small of her back that run from one side of her body to the other. Jill recalls she got those back in Begnion, courtesy of a feral laguz during that mission the apostle gave them.

“Why can’t you forgive yourself?” Mist’s whisper feels like a tender caress against Jill’s shoulder blade.

The question begs for honesty, honest words that Jill can’t muster, so she stays silent and waits for Mist to keep the conversation going, hoping she doesn’t push the issue.

Thankfully she doesn’t, but the thing she says to Jill is somewhat worse.<strike></strike>

“I will never forgive you if you die on me,” Mist cold tone gives Jill goosebumps.

“I appreciate your concern but, I’m not worth it,” Jill’s words come out slowly and it’s very evident the reply has been rehearsed before, even if her voice trembles as Mist’s palm glides down over the uneven skin of her scarred back.

“It’s not up to you to decide that.”

Then Mist’s hand is gone and all Jill can hear are shuffling sounds behind her.

“I’m going to use a mend staff for this,” she warns, but her voice lacks the usual warmth that accompanies such warnings.

The magic from the mend staff feels a bit rough and stings on every scar, Jill closes her eyes and her jaw tenses to keep her form groaning in pain. The sensation lasts no more than 10 seconds but when Mist is done with the healing, Jill notices her skin is now covered in a layer of sweat and the uncomfortable heat pricking her skin starts to dissipate leaving her cold and sweaty.

“You are more than your mistakes, Jill,” Mist mutters harshly and Jill opens her eyes just in time to see the girl standing by the entrance of the tent.

“I’m done, please turn off the lantern when you leave,” Mist mutters dryly before leaving the tent.

Jill stays in her place breathing heavily, not really knowing what to do. She takes a handkerchief and wipes the sweat in her face before searching for her shirt to put it back on.

“Wow, was that a beorc courtship ritual?” From the corner of the tent a voice makes Jill jolt and almost push a crate with vulneraries to the side. She rushes to pull her shirt over her head, even if the motion makes the cloth chafe against some of her tender scars.

“Lethe? I thought you were asleep!” Jill stage-whispers with a hand over her chest.

The cat laguz smiles cheekily and her eyes glow in the dimly lit tent.

“Pffffttttt, there was no way I could sleep with you two flirting like that,” Lethe explains as she stretches on the cot, the bones in her back crack one after the other.

“I-it wasn’t that,” Jill stammers, looking back to the entrance of the tent to make sure no one else heard Lethe’s words.

“Really? Because I don’t know about you beorc, but among laguz, when two laguz like each other as much as you two, we usually do something about it, otherwise it’s just a waste.” After speaking Leathe suppresses a yawn.

Jill doesn’t answer, she just looks down playing nervously with her sweaty hands.

“Or am I mistaken? Don’t you want to do something about it?” Lethe sounds slightly alarmed, but not too much, just enough to be considered thoughtful.

“I do but...” Jill makes a pause to swallow the lump in her throat. “B-but I’m not worthy.”

The words make Lethe lift an eyebrow and laughter bubbles in her chest and bursts out of her mouth seconds later, making her body shake with it.

“You beorc are so funny,” Lethe says, her voice is trembling with more laughter she’s trying to hold back. “Always second guessing and making assumptions instead of talking things out and being honest.”

“It’s not that easy,” Jill says, feeling annoyance rise in her chest.

“It is,” Lethe replies smoothly. “You beorc just like to complicate everything.” Lethe adds as her eyes spark with mirth. “Waiting for the perfect time to start something is just asking for an eternity of doing nothing.”

Jill wants to say something back, let Lethe know just why nothing is as easy as she makes it sound but she can’t find the words. Not when Lethe is looking at her like a smug cat that got away with breaking something. And that __something__ may or may not be Jill’s excuses.

“Listen, we’re in war, we might not have as much time as you think, so... if I were you, I would try to be honest now, tomorrow might not give you a chance,” Lethe whispers looking up and there’s no longer a trace of the teasing attitude from seconds ago.

It is weird to get this side of Lethe, so far Jill has only known the constant teasing and the aggressive affection that the laguz dishes continuously.

But somehow these words coming from Lethe are the kind of thing she needs to hear to stop doubting herself and do __something__.

Jill fixes her shirt and stands straight, getting ready for the conversation she needs to have.

“Thank you, Lethe.” She says as she leaves the tent.

“Yeah, yeah,” Lethe dismisses as she falls back in the cot.

* * *

Not too far from the tent, Mist is sitting in a fallen log. In front of her there’s a dying bonfire, the small glowing embers cracking and crunching among slowly extinguishing flames.

There’s no one in sight, so Jill doesn’t have to worry about interacting with more people. She can just have an honest talk with Mist and spend some time alone together with her.

Jill cleans the sweaty palms of her hands in her pants before bracing herself for the conversation.

“Mist?” For all the confidence she has tried to summon, her voice comes out soft and tame. Mist tenses a bit and, after standing up, carefully looks back at Jill. Her eyelashes are wet with tears and her hands are clenched over her heart.

It leaves Jill speechless, because she didn’t expect Mist to look that sad after the display of anger in the healer’s tent.

“Sorry, I just...” Mist voice is a bit rough but it trembles with unshed tears. It breaks Jill’s heart, to know she’s the reason behind that pain.

“No, I’m sorry,” Jill says, firmly so there’s no room to doubt her, but gently, so Mist knows Jill isn’t trying to start a fight.

Mist looks at her and when Jill looks into Mist’s eyes, big, blue and glazed with tears, there’s no way for Jill to resist the urge to hug her. So she doesn’t. She steps forward and extends her arms towards Mist, but stops in the last instant, hands hovering over Mist back.

An offering for Mist to accept or reject. Jill is done running away from her feelings for Mist but she still wants to make sure she’s not overstepping any boundary Mist may have.

Almost without thinking about it, Mist throws herself towards Jill and hugs her, hard. Jill winces a bit when Mist puts pressure on some of her more recent wounds, but she doesn’t say anything. Mist needs this hug and Jill isn’t about to take it away from her.

“I keep making you worry and I keep making you cry, I’m such a fool,” Jill whispers.

“Yes,” Mist agrees, her voice muffled against Jill’s shoulder. Jill freezes for several seconds while Mist leaves the words float. “Yes, Jill, you are the biggest, dumbest fool,” Mist continues after the pause, the frustration tangible in her voice. “Because no matter how much I care about you, you don’t care about yourself; no matter how much I try to help you, you just won’t let me do it.”

Jill opens her mouth to talk but there is nothing she can really say. She doesn’t deserve to ask for forgiveness, even if she __is__ sorry and wants Mist to know that.

“Why do you have to make everything so stupidly hard? I thought the struggle to get closer was over once we became friends, but you keep putting distance between us... Is it--” Mist words come to a halt. Realization dawning on her like a bucket of cold water. “Is it because I tried to kiss you?” She asks quietly.

That last part is like a stab in Jill’s chest.

“No, no, no, never, please don’t think that,” Jill reassures, her hands rubbing circles in the girl’s back.

“Then why?” Mist demands stepping back just enough to be able to look at Jill’s eyes.

Jill winces. The words get stuck in her throat, making it hard to even make a sound, but Mist is patient, scanning Jill’s face looking for any hint of the feelings going through Jill’s head.

“B-because I like you...” Jill manages to choke. “...a bit too much, and I know I haven’t known you for long, and it’s scary, and I’m not even a good person,” she adds looking to the side.

Mist blinks in confusion, her mind running to catch up with the things Jill just said, but before anything else sinks in...

“Do, you _like me_? Really?”

...she can’t really focus on the rest cause her attention converges on the very first words.

“How could I not?” Jill can’t control the tender way in which the words leave her lips. Without even trying, more words come to mind and she rolls with the wave of praises her mind effortlessly conjures.

“You’re so smart and creative, the way you learn so quickly to use different kinds of magic staves is amazing. You’re so cheerful and positive yet when things get serious you’re so determined to help people and keep everyone safe, there’s so much care in your eyes when you talk about your family or friends and you're so passionate when you talk about all the people you want to help and protect...”

Mist smiles shyly and even if she looks down, Jill can see the red of her cheeks go all the way to her ears.

“I never understood why you would worry about some uptight fool like me,” Jill adds with a smile, she is only half joking and Mist probably knows Jill thinks worst things of herself than what she’s saying out loud.

“Because you are so good too, the way you are so willing to listen to others and learn from your mistakes no matter how hard it may be, how you were willing to leave your whole life behind to do the right thing and fight for what you thought was right even if there was a chance you had to do it alone...”

_I like you too_... is what Mist wants to say but the words get stuck in her throat.

But even if Jill wants to hear Mist say those words, she doesn’t need to hear them out loud to know how Mist feels.

Jill nods and tries to smile, but it’s such a sad smile; Mist just knows Jill is going to deflect her words with more self-deprecation.

“I’m still not good enough,” Jill says and Mist doesn’t wait for Jill to say anything else.

She doesn’t even stop to think of her actions. Moving on impulse, Mist slides her hands down Jill’s shoulders, she grabs fistfuls of Jill’s shirt and pulls her down to her height... just to headbutt her in the middle of the forehead.

Jill flinches so quickly she almost falls backwards, but she regains her balance in the last second, one of her hands flying to cover the injured spot. She opens her mouth to question Mist or perhaps to complain, but Mist starts talking before that, interrupting anything Jill might want to say.

“Then become better, Jill. Become someone everyone can be proud of, become a beorc __you__ would be proud of.”

“I don’t even know where to start,” Jill replies almost by reflex, her voice strained by the pain in her head.

Placing her hands on Jill’s shoulders and standing on her tiptoes, Mist stretches a bit to kiss Jill’s forehead, carefully caressing the bruised skin with her cool lips.

“I’ll help you, I’m already proud of you,” she whispers against Jill’s forehead. And Jill lets out a sigh, but she’s not sure if it’s due to Mist’s words or Mist’s tender gestures.

Once more, it looks like Jill wants to answer with something less than positive, so Mist doesn’t wait for the reply; with her hands still holding Jill’s shoulders, Mist pulls her down, this time kissing her on the lips.

Usually, she would do this slowly and with care, but she wants to halt Jill’s words and not give her a chance to double guess something that they both know they want.

Mist closes her eyes so she can’t really gauge Jill’s reaction immediately, but after a second or two she feels Jill’s hands, warm and bigger than hers, slide over her own as Jill kisses back.

Just when Mist starts to feel Jill pulling back Mist’s hands move to the girl’s cheeks to keep her from moving too far. Jill’s hands slide through Mist arms till they reach the girl’s shoulders.

“You are not a bad person, you are just a fool, the biggest fool I know,” Mist whispers. Even if there’s fondness in her words there’s a tinge of annoyance in her tone.

“I’ll do my best to become a beorc worthy of you,” Jill whispers back and it sounds almost like she’s praying to the goddess. But the determination and firmness in which is said makes Mist smile.

“I think you already are, Jill.” As she speaks, Mist drops a quick kiss in Jill’s lips.

And it’s true. The fact that Jill is willing to try and be better is enough for Mist.

Jill can feel her eyes fill with tears; her stiff shoulders are finally able to relax, as if Mist words were the one thing able to help Jill let go the last of her hesitations, leaving her body sore, but also filled with warm satisfaction.

She throws her arms around Mist and hugs her tightly, she just hopes none of her closed wounds reopen, but she can’t stop herself. It’s been a while since someone has showed her so much sympathy, so much faith, so much understanding...

Her chest feels like it might burst with every one of her quick heartbeats and her ribs ache with the strength of the hug, but she cannot let go.

She cannot let go of Mist, she doesn’t want to, she doesn’t have to let her go. Mist, who smiles as bright as the sun, Mist, who worked hard to get close to Jill, to become her friend...

Mist, who wrestled her way into Jill’s heart, sometimes with kindness, other times with her boldness...

There is hope, there is a way to redeem herself for the less than human things she has done.

It’s not really up to Jill to decide, but it’s hard to not believe in that sliver of hope with Mist by her side.

She’s not convinced herself yet, but she wants to try, because Mist wants her to, because Mist deserves the world and Jill knows that anything done for Mist is worth it.

So, she’s willing to try.

**Author's Note:**

> Writing all those nice things Jill says about Mist was hard, not because thinking good things to say about Mist is hard but because I just couldn’t make it sound heartfelt enough, if Jill is head over heals heels for Mist it should sound natural and genuine, but instead I kept writing it like a shopping list... hopefully in the end I managed to write it in a way that sounded like something our fool Jill would say.  
Anyway that’s all the time I got, hope ya enjoyed this and if ya crave the Jillmist like me you’re in luck cause I’ll be writing a bit more for them (gotta help fill this place with love for Tellius).  
So hit me up in the comments if ya liked this, if ya support the jillmist or if ya think Lethe is the best!!  
Shoutout to bogmire for leaving a review last time!  
See ya around, guys!  
PS - pls have some [jillmist drawings](https://kiose.tumblr.com/post/187682244665/jillmist) that I made


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